Kelly Vincent, the South Australian Dignity for Disability MLC, is campaigning to decriminalise prostitution so people living with a disability can have greater access to the services of sex workers. Not unexpectedly, the response to what is one of many such campaigns worldwide has been mixed and often hostile. Is sex a human right? Why is it so hard for us to accept and respond to a call for sexual attention from those who experience sexual dispossession?
When was the last time you had truly great sex? When you felt that someone really met you where you live, when you lost and found yourself at the same time. A time when your body became at once more familiar and strangely new. When all of the separate parts of you came together. Great sex is magic and transformative in ways that are hard to explain. If you’re lucky, it’s been a part of your life at some time. If you’re really lucky, it’s a regular thing. I struggle to imagine it’s a right, but it often feels like a privilege.
Great sex is never about ability, technique or physical perfection. We know from research on the components of great sex, that presence, focus, connection and empathy are far more important to our pleasure than our form and function.
Great sex work can offer connected and caring pleasure to clients who are able to access and to afford it. It can be a relationship where someone is focused purely on your desire, and for many of us, even those of us who have regular sex, this is a rare experience. Some of my friends who have worked in the sex industry describe the joy of offering this pleasure, sometimes for the first time; of being teacher, explorer, facilitator, and of the sense of pride that comes from having your work respected and valued as an essential service.
Sex is not currently protected as a right by any society. The closest we come to this is the protection of the right to a private life, which is still subject to a number of moral and ethical escape clauses.
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