How much news space can the Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes split possibly take up? Why do we care so much? What are we looking for? As columnists pretend they saw it coming, scientists claim to have predicted it by formula, and so-called women’s magazines call in the divorce experts to see where the chips will fall, we appear to be glued to the incoming reports. In theory we shouldn’t know anything about them. And yet we believe we do. What do we see when we look in the TomKat mirror?
Narcissism is reportedly on the rise. Not surprisingly, celebrities appear to be more narcissistic than us hardworking low-profile bears. Being narcissistic means that you have more trouble than most being empathic, or seeing things from another’s perspective in a compassionate way. It means you have significant gaps in your self esteem that you’re not consciously aware of, and that you’re very preoccupied with yourself.
It also means that you are likely to be dogmatic about getting your own way. This does not mean that you love yourself. Quite the opposite. It means that you have so little real love for yourself that your life becomes a kind of performance. You don’t know who you really are, and we don’t either.
Men are more likely than women to exhibit narcissistic tendencies. You’re also more likely to suffer from unhealthy levels of narcissism if you’ve accumulated a lot of facebook friends or Twitter followers. No surprises there.
All this may sound obviously unappealing, but most of us at one time or another have been held emotionally hostage by a narcissist. Be it a boss, friend or lover, many of us have felt trapped in relationship with the self-obsessed.
Of all the things that fascinate us about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, perhaps the most consistent thread is the question of Katie’s apparent evil enchantment at the hands of an alleged fundamentalist control freak.
Recent tweeted comments included references to leg hold traps, closeted homosexuality and hostage taking. Nothing new in the world of TomKat comedy fodder, but what’s driving our projections?
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