Last week Margie Abbott chose to make a series of public appearances in order to defend her husband’s reputation with women. In her plea to Australian voters, she described Tony Abbott as surrounded by strong, capable women. So far, it doesn’t appear to have worked. What went wrong? What does it really mean to be a man who likes women? What’s grabbed our attention about this latest attempt to soften the image of the leader of the opposition?
Whenever I hear a man described as being “surrounded by strong women”, I have a suspicion that we’re talking about a guy who has failed to grow up. Not a man who hates women, but a man who is still dependent on women. A man who has not yet become a man. Having no balls of his own, the nearest woman with a strong pair of ovaries is a good place to hang out.
You never hear a man discredited because he’s surrounded by weak women. This is because men who truly hate women don’t surround themselves with women at all, weak, strong or anywhere in between. It may be reasonable to assume that Tony Abbott doesn’t hate women, but his wife’s defence of his character has somehow failed to make a dent in the strong public perception of him as a man who is less than receptive to many of the needs and interests of women. Margie Abbott’s words are sincere and appear heartfelt, but if many of the women who object to Abbott aren’t just talking policy, why don’t her pleas move us?
Perhaps a better defence of Tony Abbott, one that we might have felt was instinctively more trustworthy, would have come from the men around him. A man who is really comfortable with women is comfortable with himself as a man. To find a truly feminist man — rather than your garden-variety snag — you look at his male friends and their relationships with each other and to the women in their lives. A man with good men around him is a man who doesn’t need women to take care of him. A guy who can do the dishes and cry at movies and doesn’t need his wife to tell the world about it for him.
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