GOODNESS gracious, are we still asking this question? It appears we are. And why wouldn’t we be? There’s simply no end to the confusing messages about first date sex.
Some are saying just do it! Be free of the shackles of old-school sexual shame. Others say don’t do it, you’ll put them off with your lasciviousness. Be hot, but don’t be easy.
It’s fraught territory for everyone, this first date sex business, whatever your gender or orientation. You’re supposed to wait, you’re supposed to persuade, you’re supposed to dither and consult the experts, you’re supposed to dive in and be bold. Be a lady, be a man, be open, keep your cards close to your chest. Anything but be the person you really are. Anything but feel what you’re actually feeling.
Sex is a game, we’re told. Dating is a game. And what do we do with games? We try to win them.
But if you make the mistake of seeing sex as some kind of competitive sport, you might miss the fact that your date is actually supposed to be on your side.
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